The gay hookup glossary

Top

A top is the partner who takes the insertive, penetrating role during anal sex.

Bottom

A bottom is the partner who takes the receptive role during anal sex.

Vers

Vers is short for versatile — comfortable taking either the top or bottom role.

Vers-Top

A vers-top is versatile but prefers topping most of the time.

Vers-Bottom

A vers-bottom is versatile but prefers bottoming most of the time.

Side

A side is someone who enjoys sex but does not do anal penetration, either giving or receiving.

Power Bottom

A power bottom is a bottom who takes an active, energetic, and confident lead while receiving.

Service Top

A service top tops in order to give their partner pleasure, following the bottom's lead and desires.

Bear

A bear is a larger, often hairier and burlier gay or bi man, part of a warm and welcoming community.

Cub

A cub is a younger or smaller bear-type guy, often hairy and stocky, within bear culture.

Otter

An otter is a lean and typically hairy gay or bi man, slimmer than a bear but still furry.

Wolf

A wolf is a leaner, often hairy and rugged guy in bear culture, sometimes seen as more assertive or predatory in flirting.

Twink

A twink is a younger-looking, slim, usually smooth (little body hair) gay or bi man.

Twunk

A twunk is a twink who is more muscular or built — a blend of twink and hunk.

Jock

A jock is an athletic, muscular, sporty gay or bi man, often into fitness or team sports.

Daddy

A daddy is an older or mature, often confident and established man, frequently seen as caring or protective.

Chub

A chub is a larger, heavier-set gay or bi man, part of a proud, body-positive community.

Chaser

A chaser is someone specifically attracted to larger guys, such as chubs and bigger bears.

Pup

A pup is someone who enjoys pup play — a role-play headspace of playful, dog-like energy and devotion.

Dom

A dom is the partner who takes the leading, controlling role in a power-exchange dynamic.

Sub

A sub is the partner who yields control to a dominant in a consensual power-exchange dynamic.

Switch

A switch is someone who enjoys both dominant and submissive roles in power-exchange play.

Boy

A boy is a submissive role in a power-exchange dynamic, often paired with a daddy or sir who guides them.

Sir

A sir is a dominant, authoritative role in a power-exchange dynamic, often paired with a boy who serves them.

Daddy Dom

A daddy dom is a dominant who leads with a nurturing, protective, guiding style rather than a strict one.

Kink

A kink is a non-conventional sexual interest or activity that adds excitement, always practiced with consent.

Fetish

A fetish is a strong sexual interest in a specific object, material, or body part that is central to arousal.

BDSM

BDSM is an umbrella for bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, and sadomasochism, practiced consensually.

Safeword

A safeword is an agreed word that immediately pauses or stops a scene, no questions asked.

Aftercare

Aftercare is the attentive care partners give each other after a scene to reconnect and recover.

Hard Limit

A hard limit is an absolute boundary a person will not cross under any circumstances.

Soft Limit

A soft limit is a boundary someone is hesitant about but might explore slowly under the right conditions.

Leather

Leather refers to a longstanding gay subculture centered on leather gear, masculinity, kink, and community.

Pup Play

Pup play is a form of role-play where someone adopts a playful, dog-like puppy persona and headspace.

Edging

Edging is deliberately approaching the point of climax and backing off to build and prolong arousal.

NSA

NSA means no strings attached — casual sex or fun with no expectation of a relationship.

FWB

FWB means friends with benefits — an ongoing casual sexual connection between friends without a romantic commitment.

Hosting

Hosting means having a private place available and inviting the other person to come to you.

Travel

Travel means you are able to go to the other person's place rather than hosting your own.

Discreet

Discreet means valuing privacy and keeping encounters or one's sexuality low-key and confidential.

Masc

Masc is short for masculine, describing a more traditionally masculine presentation or vibe.

Femme

Femme describes a more traditionally feminine gender presentation, style, or energy.

GGG

GGG means good, giving, and game — a mindset of being a generous, open-minded, considerate partner.

DTF

DTF means down to fuck — ready and willing to have sex, usually casually and soon.

No-Strings

No-strings describes casual connections with no expectation of commitment, romance, or ongoing obligation.

PrEP

PrEP is a highly effective daily or on-demand medication that prevents HIV in people who are HIV-negative.

On PrEP

On PrEP means a person is currently taking PrEP medication to prevent HIV.

U=U

U=U means undetectable equals untransmittable — a person with an undetectable HIV viral load cannot transmit HIV sexually.

Poz

Poz means HIV-positive; with modern treatment, poz people live full lives and, when undetectable, cannot transmit HIV sexually.

Doxy-PEP

Doxy-PEP is a dose of the antibiotic doxycycline taken after sex to reduce the risk of some bacterial STIs.